The Moonlighting

Yesterday I saw a couple playing Santa and Mrs. Claus at Fountain Square.  They did a great job.  I wonder if they're married.  Maybe they don't even know each other.  This could be a job for me one of these days, but I'd prefer to do the gig solo.  In other words, sans Santa.

When kids ask where Santa is, I'll tell them various imaginative tales.

"Santa's dealing with a massive goiter at the moment, so I'm here by myself today.  He's going to be fine, the antibiotics are kicking in, but things are kind of a mess right now. These giant goiters can linger on like nobody's business.  Ask Mom and Dad to help you google 'goiter' when you get home and you'll see what I mean. You can leave your list, but honestly,  have low expectations.  This year, we're doing our best and forgetting the rest, and you should try to do the same."

 I'll slip a few extra candy canes to them while their parents are paying for the polaroids.