Sunday, September 20, 2015

The Times

The times they were achangin' this week.  There were ups and then there were downs.  Case in point. Have you ever freaked out about something publicly?  In front of a lot of people?  I did that this week and I regretted it instantly.

Our school district has a new report card and I don't care for it. But here's the thing. I don't just dislike this report card, I turn crazy angry when I think about it.  I really should see a therapist or a hypnotist about it. I'm surprised at the intensity of my feelings about this. I need to remember that in actual fact, the report card is just a cumbersome and somewhat meaningless part of my job that is my reality.  (Please don't get me started on how much I hate meaningless wastes of time.  It's not helpful). For my own mental health, I need to accept the report card and find ways to calmly cope and make it work.  Good thing I have good friends who talk me down, around and through my freakiness.  Without them, I'd be lost, but not forgotten.  Nance even has me on a report card completion schedule that I plan on following to the letter. JW helps me with the computer glitches and nods sympathetically when I start the twitching and the cursing.  And gives me cold brew coffee and/ or perrier.   And writes me supportive texts.  Hoorah for FRIENDSHIP!

The thing is, I don't know why I go so crazy about the report card.  Going crazy is not going to change anything.  It just results in rueful regret and remorse.

 I've decided to let bygones be bygones. I have moved through the stages of reconciliation.  On day 1, I bought bagels of atonement for everyone who had to listen to raging rants when they were trying to get work done. (Really truly sorry, friends!)  Then (after the contractual work day) I had drinks with Kathala, Sandy and JW and talked it all through 3, 4, 5 times in a row. Maybe 6 I'm not sure.  (These gals are patient!) Then on day 2, I bought some ridiculously expensive hair products. (No lie.  Capital R for Ridiculous Pricing on the hair products).  I also went for a wondrous walk with Husbandman through the Beanblossom Bottoms.  Then I went into the compound and rearranged all the furniture.  (So satisfying). Also went out to dinner with Husbandman and saw a movie. Today, on day 3, I think I'm finally feeling back up to snuff.  I may need some more self care purchases, but I'm definitely moving in the right direction.

In conclusion, it's time for me to do my best and forget the rest.  Today's a beautiful new day and as Norman Fischer tells us, it's our birthright to enjoy this new day with an open mind and a tender heart. I've got this.


mm said...

I feel your pain. It's the extraneous BS at school that drives me crazy. When I'm in my classroom and not worrying about the rest, my job is awesome. The rest drives me crazy. This year 20% of the students are not in my classroom because they're in BS interventions. I've had may tirades about this issue and will continue. You are kind hearted to bring treats for your peeps. I merely continue with my tirades at any opportunity.

LH said...

You're awesome. You definitely get it.

Anonymous said...

Everyone was thinking what you were saying. People were nodding. People were agreeing. Saying what you think should be a healthy response to a tough situation. Then we move on and do what we have to do.

lee said...

I actually just read an article about risk taking and that it's important to take risks and sometimes that involves
offering your unfiltered opinion and speaking out against something you think is wrong.

So, I'm actually pretty proud of myself right now because being a risk taker is awesome.

Anonymous said...

John Lewis tonight said, "Find a way to get in the way," and I think that is just what we need to do.

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