The Tics

Last week I cried a couple of times about my dissertation and my job and my tiredness and the whole overwhelming all of it. But this week I don't feel like I'm one breath away from a coma after a morning of working. Maybe it helps that I finally broke it down for the students today and explained to them that when they slam books down on their desks or tap their pencils incessantly or make distracting noises with their tongues or use their scissors to break down their erasers to a near molecular level, I get distracted. And I develop nervous tics and twitches in my eye lids and my neck. Plus all thought flies out of my head and I lose my place and need to be redirected. After I explained, a few kids still did the tapping thing, but when my face started twitching, they apologized and stopped. Then someone else reminded me of my last sentence and the lesson went on. I think we're getting a system going that might work for all of us.

The Sittings

I actually sat with my dissertation for awhile tonight, a little visit to get reacquainted. It seemed ready to move forward, but was waiting patiently for me to take the lead.
I sat down during the pledge this morning, in solidarity with two girls who sat when the pledge was read over the intercom. Legal mandates that are all about indoctrination get on my last nerve.
I sat again after reading about cool loneliness in Pema Chodron's book. She suggests treating alienation and heartbreak as opportunities. I wonder if I would ever be able to do that?

p.s. I have extras of these bumper stickers, if you want one. They make great gifts.

The Haystacks

Happy Birthday to my Mom! She's 75 today. I love her just because she's my mom, but there are things she does that impress and inspire me as well. She's a volunteer nurse at the monastery, tending to the ill and elderly monks. She's a good friend to anyone who needs any kind of help at any time. And she exercises about a zillion times a week. She also makes these cookies called haystacks for me every xmas and looking forward to these all year gives my life meaning and hope. She's a great mom to seven children and a spectacular grandmother to 3 grandkids. Please send good birthday wishes into the universe or the blogosphere for my mom today.

The Jeopardy

KC told me that she played "rule" Jeopardy with her middle school classes so I decided to give it a try. I handed out sheets of rules for dress code, playground behavior, lifeskills, and bullying and relational aggression. The kids looked over the sheets and wrote the questions on Thursday. Friday we played the game. It went like this. Kids would call out, "Dress code." I read a card that said, "These straps are strictly forbidden at our school." After consulting with their team, a kid would answer, "What are spaghetti straps?" YES! Then someone picked Aggression. I read the answer, "A comment that could result in immediate expulsion." After the required consult, a kid would answer, "What is 'I'm going to kill you?'" YES! We really covered quite a few rules and I was amused by the whole event, which is important. I'm sure they'll never forget these rules and will strive to achieve their personal best behavior for the next 177 school days. Thanks, Savvy Mom.

The Insomnia

Why am I not sleeping? Could it be that I'm charged up after watching John Stewart tear into hateful Christopher Hitchens? Or could it be the latte I drank at 6 thinking it was finally time to get back to my dissertation work? Or could it be a lingering clinging to summer time, when staying up late had no consequences, and nothing absolutely had to be done during the day time?

The Beginning

First day news. Teen Daughter's a freshman now and had a locker snafu, but other than that things went well. One teacher staged a dramatic eviction of a student that shook everyone up, but it was all a joke. After school she got this cool haircut. #1 son is a sixth grader and has performed imitations of his four teachers' introductions to our great amusement. I muddled through a long homeroom and 2 periods of language arts enjoying these big children. I wasn't quite on my game, but everyone seemed happy and relaxed. I told them they could pick their seats, but tonight I made a seating arrangement. Being too nice has too many drawbacks. Hope they're not overly disappointed and I also hope they don't think I lie regularly. Husbandman is not in school until next week so he's been singing Summer Time songs gloatingly this evening. Perhaps sensing our disgruntlement with his jollity, he volunteered to wash dishes for all of us this evening. It seemed only right.

The Union

Judy and I signed up to be the new union reps at school. I've been wanting to get more involved in the union for awhile. I really want to get rid of standardized testing. And I'm hoping to reduce class sizes after that.

The Convenience

My thumb hurts a wee bit and it has hurt for a long time. A few weeks ago, I decided to investigate my pain by actually looking at my thumb and was surprised to see that my thumb is somewhat deformed and misshapen. I guessed it might be arthritic so I googled "arthritic thumb" but arthritic thumbs usually hurt in a place nearer to the base of the thumb. So then I worried that I might have some type of growth in my thumb. When I went to the Hunt's house on Friday, I decided to ask our friend Jim the doctor about my thumb. I was embarrassed to bug him for medical advice, but he's always nice about these things. He said it looks like arthritis, not to worry. He told me the thumb bump has a name----something node---but I wasn't paying close attention once I found out it wasn't a growth. Talking to Jim saved me considerable time and money. I resolved that afternoon to work at steering Teen Daughter and #1 Son into the medical professions. This is going to be cost efficient in the long run.

The Flaw

Yesterday I had two moments that lingered on unpleasantly. Both had to do with being overly defensive, a minor character flaw. When a new teacher asked if the rocking cool posters I had just purchased had any curricular or thematic significance, I replied that they did not, that they were on the walls simply to make the room look good, and then I just had to add that I thought thematic curriculum was often “forced and artificial.” Unnecessary. A simple “no” would have done the job just fine. Later another teacher commented that the books I planned to teach might not be very “fun.”
“These are FUN!” I screeched back.
I think the screeching freaked her out because she quickly responded, “I was just kidding.” Again, unnecessary. Reading about the Chinese Cultural Revolution and the war in Sarajevo might not be considered fun by all readers and I have to accept that, hard as it is to understand.
When defensiveness sets in, it is a signal that I need to back away from the schoolpeople and spend a day with Judy buying clothes in the big city to the north. Wearing the new school clothes, defensiveness in the workplace will be unnecessary.

The Vigil

We joined others downtown last night for a vigil of support for Cindy Sheehan. Our town had a good turn out of folk and people kept the candles lit while forming two large rag tag circles. My teacher self must be returning because I contemplated taking charge of getting everyone into one large circle, but I let that impulse go and stood quietly along with the others. I'll be getting back to crowd control soon enough. Sheehan's project inspires me and I'm glad we gathered on the square to show support, though the vigil was brief and perhaps one large circle would have been slightly better.

The Chagrin

When I couldn't find any sign telling me to stay out, I crossed a rocky trench to get close to this totem. I took some fine fotos and returned to the crowd. Found a small sign off to the side later, telling me to stay away from the totems. The Canadians are just way too polite in their signage, but I was still embarrassed. I've always been a pretty good sign follower. And because Husbandman repeatedly asked me what I was thinking crossing the trench. He pointed out that it looked really odd to see me over there. Another embarrassment occurred yesterday when my credit card was denied at a local poster shop where I was buying some rocking cool posters for my classroom. Husbandman called credit card company and they told him that they put a hold on our card because they detected charges from out of the country. Credit card man suggested that we call the company whenever travelling outside of our nation's borders. Thought I'd pass this helpful tip along to others. Classroom's almost done, and though I am embarrassed that I have very little to write today, I couldn't NOT blog before leaving the house. That's a little embarrassing, too.