Happy Halloween

 There are many reasons why I haven't been blogging lately and I'll spare you the gory details.  (They're not super gory so no worries). (Basically I'm suffering from creativity malaise).  (Which is not good).

My new plan is to write random sentences on the blog fairly regularly to keep the cobwebs at bay.

We'll start with Halloween. Halloween's not the happiest day for elementary school teachers, but I'm going with the flow and going to try to absorb the magic of 23 kids, costumes, games and candy.  

3rdLanders wanted to know about my costume.  I told them that I don't like to dress in costumes because it makes me embarrassed.  They seemed to understand and left it at that.

I am trying to at least be festive by wearing all black.  I am also wearing my fox jawbone necklace that never fails to draw rapt attention and awe.  (FYI: I'm thinking of being a bone collector in my spare time).

We're going to make Frankensteins.  I'm going to read Jerry Seinfeld's Halloween picture book.  Moms will bring games and food at 2.  

Guess I'm all set.  I'm heading in. Happy Halloween to you.  Don't forget to cast some spells.

The Wrap Up of the Week

Extremely rare BLUE crawdad
Photo Credit:  JS, AKA Crawdad Guy

 Sometimes I sit down to blog and I think... what the heck did I do that was even remotely interesting this week?  Come to find out, this week was a pleasant exception, filled with exciting and unusual experiences.

As you can see in the photo above, I was witness to the capture and release of the rare blue crawdad of Jackson Creek.  Only one in 10,000 crawdads are blue, so I'm still reeling from this crazy crawdad crowdpleaser.

Before school earlier in the week, I drove over to Chickadee Farms and helped feed the Clydesdale horses.  Had to get up so early, (4 am) but truly worth the energy. 

After school that same day, I was invited to speak at the CornCob Rally on the Courthouse Square.  I spoke about 4H chicken rearing programs in public schools.  Went well.

Then just yesterday, I left school after doing report cards to see some idiot had tied a great horned owl to a fence post across the street with a jumprope.  I freed the owl, which was surprisingly calm.  Fare thee well, Great Horned Owl.  Godspeed, my friend.

Because the week had some unusual highlights, I decided to share them with you, my few remaining readers. We can only imagine what this next week might bring our way.

ps  Please vote for the referendum on November 8.  If you want to, go ahead and try to get a few others to vote for the referendum as well.  Merci beaucoup. 

The Story of the Month

New Water Tower in Dana, Indiana
photo credit:  SL, former Dana resident

 Hey Friends,

Remember when I told you about my haiku dilemma in a post from a few weeks ago?  If you stopped reading this blog ages ago because the blogger has been slacking for awhile now, you might want to review the real life story here.

I never told you this, but I ended up getting the haiku.  I have a feeling my email may have prompted some action because the poem appeared 5 days after my email was sent.  Take away:  Write an email if something doesn't sit right with you.

I wrote a story based on this event and if you want to read it, go ahead.  It's right here.

Poetry on Demand

Lee Heffernan

 

Dear Bundunton Writer's Guild,

 

I'm emailing because of my unsatisfactory experience with your Poetry on Demand booth at last week's art fair.  A first time visitor to the poetry on demand experience, I requested a haiku from a "poet" named Bill. I donated ten dollars.  Because Bill allegedly had " a lot of poems in his queue," he told me to return to the booth later and my haiku would be ready. 

 

When I returned 35 minutes later, Bill asked for my home address as he had not yet written my haiku. I had some reservations about sharing this information, but I wrote down my address and Bill said I would receive my haiku in 2 to 3 days.  It's now been one week and I've received no haiku in the mail.  How long do you think it would take a person who works in a Poetry on Demand booth to write one haiku?  

 

Maeve Evans-Collier

 

*****

 

Dear Ms. Evans,

 

We are sorry to hear about this haiku hassle.  While we sponsor the Poetry on Demand booth, our members do not staff the event.  Bill was a volunteer from Mooresville who drove in with his own typewriter to work the booth.  We have no address for him.  We are happy to offer you this haiku as a replacement: 

 

Maeve Evans-Collier

waits for her missing haiku

oh where could it be

 

Thank you for the donation and WRITE ON!

 

Bundunton Writer's Guild

 

*****

 

Dear Bundunton Writer's Guild,

 

Thank you for your response to my email.  I'm sorry to tell you, however, that I take offense at your haiku's flippant tone. It's beyond me why you would treat a patron with such disdain.

 

Someone in your organization must have access to Bill's email address.  Please forward this information to me without delay.  

 

Maeve Collier Evans

requests the address of Bill

and her ten dollars

 

 

*****

 

 

Dear Maeve,

 

We are sorry that you misunderstood our haiku, but we refuse to apologize for creative expression.  We are happy to tell you, however, that today is your lucky day.  We've tracked down Bill's email address! (see below) 

 

We will not be returning your donation as we feel we've provided a haiku written specifically for you.  Here's another! 2 for the price of one!

 

No refunds for Maeve (you)

but we understand your plight

good luck with your quest

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*****

Dear Bill,

 

My name is Maeve Collier Evans.  The Bundonton Writer's Guild gave me your email address. I met you recently at their Poetry on Demand booth at the Bundonton Arts Fair. If you recall, I donated ten dollars for a haiku.  After waiting for 35 minutes, I was disappointed to discover that my poem would be mailed to me. What does poetry on demand actually mean, I wonder? It has now been over a week. Could you please send my haiku at once to my address, which I am now supplying for the second time?

 

Ten dollar haiku

poetry not on demand

unbelievable

 

*****

 

Dear Maeve,

 

Thank you for reaching out. I don't want to make excuses for myself, but, long story short, my cat was hit by a car on Sunday evening. I found Smoky dead in the street when I got home from the arts fair.

 

After burying Smoky in the backyard, I'll be honest, my creative juices were tapped.  I had 18 poems to send out to art fair donors and I just didn't have it in me, Maeve. Come to find out, you are the only person who has contacted me about the missing poems.  You obviously live your life with integrity and expect others to do the same. I'm sorry I let you down.

 

Please accept my apologies.  I'm sending your belated haiku at last. I wrote it this morning.  Thank you for inspiring me to find my path back to my typewriter. 

 

your quest for haiku

spurred my creativity  

pushing through dark days

 

Your new friend, (I hope)

 

Bill

 

 

*****

 

 

 

Dear Bill, 

 

I feel horrible about making a fuss about the haiku, considering the circumstances. Please accept this haiku, written by me, with sincere condolences.

 

sorry for your loss

every day is so precious

we just never know

 

Let's stay in touch, Bill.  I suspect that poetry has brought us together for a reason.  I would love to get together to share stories about our precious pets. I lost my dog Charlie just last year.

 

Yours,

 

Maeve

The Vision

 This toe thing is starting to really get on my last nerve.  Let's try to ignore it and move on to what we're all here for.... blogging.

On Friday we had vision screening for the 3rdLanders.  One kid didn't want to go because, he said, "I have perfect vision.  I know that because I can see ten miles."

I wondered about this as we walked to the vision testing area.  Maybe he could see ten miles? How would I know?  Maybe he's talking about a time when he was on top of a mountain, or on top of the Willis Tower on a clear day.

Maybe he was lying or simply confused or suffering from delusions of grandeur.   At any rate, we're not great at measuring in ThirdLand.  Yet.  Searching for items that are 4 inches long this week, another 3rdLander wrote down, "Dr. H's ear."  Seriously. My ear is 4 inches a long?  Give me a break, Kid.  I tried to measure my ear for him, but he lost interest and walked away.  

We have work to do, my friends.  We have work to do.  

The 5th Toe

The pinky toe is referred to as the 5th toe or the outermost toe, in podiatry circles.  One potential problem with the outermost toe is the presence of lister corns, which can be painful and may preclude the wearing of all shoes in one's closet. 

Lister corns are named after the father of modern surgery, Mr. Joseph Lister.  Mr. Lister figured out that germ free surgeries were a ton better than germy surgeries.  For that we thank him.  

Not sure why the lister corn bear's Lister's name.  Did he suffer from these pesky 5th toe corns himself or did someone decide that naming a corn after him could be a great way to honor this great man? 

I read about lister corns all the time.  Just about every day.  Tomorrow I'll talk about lister corns with a professional.  Lister corns have been around a long time, but there doesn't seem to be too much one can do about them, besides live with excruciating pain. 

The Demand

Today I wrote an email of concern to the Bloomington Writer's Guild about my disappointment with their Poetry On Demand booth which was set up at the Fourth Street Festival on Labor Day weekend.  

On a cheerful lark, I approached the Poetry on Demand booth on Sunday last.  I engaged in some chitchat, donated 10$ and requested a haiku. The poet told me to come back later and he would have my haiku.  "Go enjoy the festival," he said and I decided not to tell him that I had already enjoyed the festival for a considerable amount of time.  I was not thrilled that the haiku would not be written "on demand," but I took another amble around the festival and picked out some earrings.  I also talked to some friends. In short, I allowed for plenty of time for the writing of a haiku before returning to the booth.

And yet, upon my return, the haiku was still not written.  I told the "poet" that I had to leave, so he took my address and said he would send the haiku via snail mail.  

One week later. No haiku has arrived.  For five days, I have hoped for my haiku to appear in my letterbox despite Husbandman's confident, and somewhat dispiriting, comments that the haiku would not be in the letterbox and would in fact never be in the letterbox.

I told the 3rdLanders about this situation on Friday morning and was sad when a 3rdLander yelled out, "Do not trust people!" I told him that it's okay to trust people, but probably we should all write our own haiku. 

In my email, I told the Writer's Guild that I wanted no return of funds, but hoped they could improve the Poetry on Demand experience for future donors. 

ps Truly annoyed at this stretch of white space that I can't get rid of for some reason. 

Hello Writ

Last week I attended the 4th Street Arts Festival.  I went to your Poetry on Demand booth and requested a haiku.

The poet told me he had a queue of poems to write so I should come back later and he would have it for me.  I donated 10$ and

walked around the festival again.  

I was actually surprised that the poem would not be created on the spot, but I understood that others wer haiku was still not written and I told the poet I needed to leave t

He took my address and said he would send the poem in the mail.  It’s now been a week since the festival and I’ve gotten no haiku in the mail.

I don’t want any compensation.  My donation was happily given.  

BUT…. I think you should know that my Poetry on Demand experience was far from what I expected.  

I hope future visitors to this booth will have a better experience.

Thank you,

Lee Heffernan

Hello Writer

Last week I attended the 4th Street Arts Festival.  I went to your Poetry on Demand booth and requested a haiku.

The poet told me he had a queue of poems to write so I should come back later and he would have it for me.  I donated 10$ and

walked around the festival again.  

I was actually surprised that the poem would not be created on the spot, but I understood that others were also waiting for their poems.

I walked around again and came back 30 minutes later.  The haiku was still not written and I told the poet I needed to leave the festival.

He took my address and said he would send the poem in the mail.  It’s now been a week since the festival and II don’t want any compensation.  My donation was happily given.  

BUT…. I think you should know that my Poetry on Demand experience was far from what I expected.  

I hope future visitors to this booth will have a better exp

The Clicks

Saw a movie on campus last week called Rogue Agent. It's about a man.  Past that I can't tell you much without spoiling. But you should see it if you want.  I think it's streaming somewhere.  V. good.

Today I opened my NYT online and saw a link to an article about Elizabeth Strout.  My finger hovered over the headline, in the clicking position, but I hesitated.  I had this horrible feeling that I might read something in the article that would make me like Elizabeth Strout less than I do and I just couldn't handle that. Later, still thinking about Elizabeth Strout, I changed my mind, figuring that I had a 50/50 chance of finding out something that would make me like her even more than I currently do.  I clicked and read about her cool writing life.  She writes all the time.  She also plays piano.  She lives in Maine.  Her husband seems like a nice enough guy. So, I found out that I like her exactly the same amount after reading the article.  In short, nothing ventured nothing gained.  Or, more accurately---something ventured, nothing lost or gained.

We spent a long time waiting for lattes this afternoon.  We ordered them "for here," and yet we didn't get our drinks in the shop's beautiful orange cups and saucers, just paper cups with plastic lids. That made me wonder where we went wrong in the ordering process. (I know.... don't blame the victim). Also, we had to wait longer than I would have preferred.  While waiting I wrote this haiku:

local coffee shop

you thank us for our patience

we want coffee now

 

 

The InBetween

 

Husbandman tested positive for covid this week.  I did not.  Husbandman and I now lead separate lives.  He stays in a downstairs bedroom, sleeping and coughing.  I wander through the rest of the house like a ghostly spirit, living in the haunted, viral in-between space.  Husbandman is on paxlovid and is definitely on the mend which is a relief, but I could drop at any time. We just don't know.

In other news, we had our school's Open House this week. From the parents, I felt a ton of supporting and absolutely no thwarting. I especially liked the parents who told me, "We enjoyed talking about Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs tonight at dinner."  I love when the 3rdLanders spread the word about what we're up to during the day.  

Speaking of Maslow, let's reflect on my needs right now. 

The basics of food, water and shelter?  Check.  Could be sleeping better, but whatever.

Safety needs?  Check.  I'm wearing my mask and my seat belt. 

Belonging and Love needs?  Check, though I would like to see Husbandman emerge from the bedroom with a big bouquet of yellow roses for me sometime soon.

Esteem needs?  I'm feeling pretty good about how I skillfully handled a harrowing situation that happened on my lunch break yesterday, involving a first grader walking down the hall wearing only a tee shirt and sandals while carrying his underwear in one hand and his shorts in the other.  I escorted the kid to the boys' bathroom and chatted with him about first grade life while we waited for another teacher to bring new clothes.  He wasn't thrilled with the new green underwear, claiming they were "tight," but I assured him they'd stretch during the afternoon.  After a bit more chatting, he headed back to class to continue his education.

In conclusion... Needs being met.  No Covid yet.

The Rest

 You might be wondering if I'm still alive over here. I have neglected this beautiful blog which makes me sad.  Basically life is going to hell in a hand basket.  I'm in 3rdLand with a great crew of peeps and I'm way busy.  I don't want to be this busy.  I want to meander and write in my notebook.  But here I am. Struggling with lists of tasks that only grow longer by the day. Working crazy hours, losing my mind.  There are bright spots.  Umping the kickball games at recess.  Watching the writers get in the groove in only 3 weeks' time.  Singing songs together with gusto.  I am glad to be back in Thirdland but I'm not happy to be right back in the middle of that feeling of always being behind and always needing to do more.  I'm doing my best, but I can't seem to forget the rest.  

The Penultimate Day of Summer Vacation

 Today is Penultimate Day.  Some Penultimate Days are happier occasions than others.  The end of vacation Penultimate Day, our current Penultimate Day, is bittersweet for obvious reasons.

I want to celebrate Penultimate Day with some festivities, but I had to visit an endodontist just this past yesterday in order to have an APICO procedure done and I'm not feeling top notch.  If you don't know what APICO's all about, look it up here.  You can an unpleasant visual image here if you're interested in what I endured. Not super fun, but it's important to take care of health issues.  Don't put these things off.

I expected to be laid up this weekend, but I'm basically doing fine.  Spending most of my Penultimate Day icing my face, but we're also watching a documentary about Del Close called For Madmen Only.  Interesting stuff. See it if you feel like it.

  

The Swap Show

Foto Credit:  30 Something

 I told my dad about a friend's cantankerous elder parent.  My dad suggested that he and this other elder should swap places.  He felt that the elder would appreciate their situation more if they lived my dad's life for awhile.

This brilliant idea reminded me of that old classic show, Wife Swap.  My dad and I propose a new show called Elder Swap, where older adult people swap out their elders. With all the antics these elders get up to, hilarity will ensue, and life lessons will probably be learned.  This idea has potential.