Premise # 19:

 This is the last day of the fiction premise challenge.  It's been fun.  I will write more from time to time.  I didn't get to 31 premises.  I actually only accomplished 62% of the task, which would be a D minus in real life, but I did my best and I'm forgetting the rest. Here's my last premise of January.

A high school teacher has an affair with his principal. The principal is married.  Finally, the principal breaks off the affair. The teacher is ticked off and wants revenge, so he starts having affairs with several students.  

The students who have rendezvous'd with this character think it's all in good fun.  (They're seniors, all over 18).  They tattoo the teacher's initials on their arms, like a badge of honor. 

The principal gets a call from an irate parent.  Everything's about to go haywire. The teacher goes missing.  The substitute teacher has been vying for a position at the school for over a year, so he becomes a suspect. Other suspects are the seniors, the principal, the parents.  

But the teacher's having the last laugh.  He's off in the Yucatan traveling around in a food truck, selling grilled cheese sandwiches with the principal's husband!

Premise #18: Typewriter Day

 

A woman becomes obsessed with typewriters after watching an incredible documentary, American Typewriter.  After years of browsing at flea markets, a blue Smith Corona appears magically on her social media wall.  The price is perfect.  She can't hit the "make an offer" button fast enough.   

A confusing back and forth with the "seller," finally leads to an arranged meeting.  She will drive 30 miles to a Walmart parking lot for the deal.  When the day of the trade arrives, she's excited and texts all her pals, "It's Typewriter Day!" 

The "seller" lures the woman into her van to show her the typewriter.  Something happens in that van and we're not really sure exactly what has transpired.  We know it's not good.

When she returns home, she complains about the rainy drive.   Her husband responds to her mood with a muttered, "What's with you? I thought Typewriter Day was going to be more celebratory." 

She stalks into her bedroom with the typewriter.  He hears her clicking away. After a few days of silent treatment, things get back to nearly normal, but the woman is obsessed with the typewriter.  She comes home from work and begins typing immediately.  Every day, she stuffs her pieces of writing into stamped envelopes and directly into her purse. 

When asked what she's mailing, the woman just smiles and says, "That's for me to know and you to find out." 

The woman begins getting texts round the clock.  She's vague about the constant pinging. Then one day, she doesn't come home from work. The police are useless. Husbandman decides to find his wife. His first move is to track down the typewriter dealer.

Premise #17: Restaurant Wars

A guy gets kicked off of a cooking competition. Every week after that another restaurant belonging to the remaining contestants burns to the ground.  It's always the next person who gets kicked off who goes home to a charred restaurant.  The show's getting a lot of bad PR, so they hire a detective to investigate the arsons.  Can the next restaurant be saved?  The remaining contestants are cooking for their lives and their livelihoods.

Story Premise #16: Bambi, A Life in the Town

 

Bambi, the Disney movie, is based on a book for adults called, Bambi, A Life in the Woods.  

In this updated version, Bambi and friends (an opossum and a chipmunk) live in a residential area.  Bambi and his pals eat plants from neighborhood gardens, empty bird feeders, scare little dogs and cross busy streets.  A domestic cat befriends the wild characters and delivers bits of cat wisdom about human perspectives and motivations.  No humans speak in this story, but Bambi and crew conjecture, and learn, about the actions and reactions of their human neighbors. Some humans seem to enjoy Bambi's presence.  Others aren't so welcoming. Eventually, Bambi meets another deer and they have an adorable fawn. 

Crisis comes when the town schedules a residential deer kill.  Men and women with crossbows walk through yards and parking lots, killing deer left and right. Bambi is a coveted prize with his fine antlers. He gets hit with an arrow, but not killed.  He escapes to some woods beyond a new subdivision.  His partner is not so lucky. It's left to Bambi to break the news to his son.  

Story Premise #15: Do You Get It?

 Here's the thing.  New President.  Yay.  Report Cards due this week.  Boo.  But here's the other thing.  I really liked The Dead Ends premise and thought....will I ever be able to write a premise that I like as much as this one?  That probably happens to real time authors in real life, so I'm going to move past it.  Here's something ridiculous.

Jane and Jake.  High school sweethearts.  Jane was voted class clown four years running.  She's always doing nutty things.  Everyone, including Jane, thinks she's hilarious. Jake often is annoyed by Jane's antics, but he loves her anyway.  Jake is captain of the debate team and his personality tends toward the flat line.  People said they balanced each other out.

They get married after graduation. After 6 years of an up and down marriage, Jane gets pregnant.  They're both happy about being parents, but Jane makes a big joke out of the entire 9 month pregnancy.  Jake wishes she would calm down. He worries about what kind of mom she'll be. 

Jane's water breaks at her job at the local newspaper. Jake is at his dental hygienist job.  Jane doesn't call Jake.  She calls a Lyft.  She wants to video her ride to the hospital so she can make an Insta story.  She knows Jake would never be okay with that.  She thinks it's hilarious when contractions are coming faster and faster and the Lyft driver ends up birthing the kid on the side of the road.  Jane's screaming with pain and laughter while filming the entire thing.  

Later at the hospital, Jane explains to Jake that she's told the nurse to put the name Carly on the birth certificate.  "Get it?  She was born in a car?" 

Jane's giggling away when Jake whispers through clenched teeth, "Yeah, I get it.  And you'll be getting divorce papers soon." 

So the whole story from then on out is about Jake and Jane raising Carly from their separate homes.  They continue to have tensions.  Both find other partners.  As Carly gets older, Jake and Jane each sees the good sides of their ex in their kiddo.  And by the time she heads off to college, the two find their way back to each other. 

Story Premise #14: The Dead Ends

Four high school seniors decide to head out for Trick or Treating.  There's nothing else to do, so why not grab some free candy?  As high schoolers will at times, they dial it in where their Halloween costumes are concerned.  Trisha tosses a tape measure around her neck and a pencil behind her ear.  She's a seamstress.  Simon grabs his Dodgers cap and his brother's baseball bat.  Shortstop.  Lois puts on her cousin's red TARGET vest.  She works at Target.  Samantha carries around a stuffed tiger toy.  Zookeeper.

They drive to the neighborhood best known for good candy and begin their trek. Since they're arriving on the late side of the city's Halloween hours, many neighbors react with annoyance. Over and over, they're asked if they might be a little old for trick or treating. The teens just giggle goofily.  Happy with their haul, they meander from one street to the next.  They venture down a dead end street for one final house. This place is covered with Halloween decor---goblins, witches and a veritable pumpkin patch of jack-o-lanterns on the front lawn.   Two old women open the door. When they see the teens, they tell them they are out of candy.  "What are you, anyway?" says one, and the teens laugh as they each share their Halloween identities.  The other woman shakes her head.  "Even if we had candy, we wouldn't share it with the likes of you.  You're making a mockery of an important holiday. This kind of foolishness will catch up with you one of these days."  

"Whatever," mutter the teens as they hightail it down the street.  They come back later to the sisters' house with eggs and toilet paper.  

The four move to different towns to attend various colleges.  They lose touch for twenty years.  At their high school reunion, they find a table and some beers and spend a fun evening reminiscing about days of yore. 

Those sure were good times," says Trisha.  After a pause, she adds, "I'm embarrassed to tell you all that I never did become a lawyer.  I work at a Dry Cleaners. I hem pants and skirts all day long. Box up the occasional wedding dress. So boring." 

Simon shrugs.  "I dropped out of UCLA after one semester. I sell concessions at Dodgers Stadium." 

Samantha pats him on the shoulder and says, "Hey, you've got it better than me. After I dropped out of UCSD, I got a job at the zoo.  It was fun for awhile, but most of my job consists of cleaning up animal poop." 

Lois chimes in quietly, "Well my job's nothing to brag about.  I couldn't handle the pace at Carleton.  I was invited to leave in my sophomore year.  I've been stocking shelves at Target every since."

Everyone's quiet for awhile, sipping their drinks.  Then Simon says, "Wait a minute."  

The four old friends consider taking a drive together.  Maybe there's something that can be done.  Maybe it's not too late to find the sisters and make amends.

Story Premise #13: Tweening

A pirate takes a lighthouse family hostage.  Their island is deserted and their only contact with the outside world is a supply boat that arrives every other month.   The pirate bosses everyone around and rains blows down on the head of anyone not doing his bidding. The family falls in line with the pirate's dominating authority, but the tween twins turn out to be formidable foes. 

After a month of the pirate having his way with everybody, the pirate gets a jolt of surprise when a second tween appears as he's about to torture the first.  Using his own oft used line, "This will be quick and relatively painless," the avenging tween gleefully shoots the pirate through the heart with his blunderbuss.   The girls laugh as his body sails from the top of lighthouse to the jagged rocks below.

Story Premise #12: Bungee Birthday

On Carla's 40th birthday, she scheduled a bungee jump.  She had no one to go with her.  On her walk to the jumping point, she cried in her quiet unnoticeable way.  She didn't want to jump but she knew she had to.  She had broken too many promises, abandoned too many plans. She joined the line.  The guy directly in front of her instantly started with the chit chat kitty kat routine.  Carla tried to ignore him, giving short responses, and avoiding eye contact, but he blathered on.  He was annoying as all get out.  Finally he bungeed off the bridge and Carla muttered, "Good riddance," under her breath as she was hooked to the bungee cord.  The jump underwhelmed her, but she did get a boyfriend out of the deal.  "Frank" was waiting for her below. He walked her to her car, chatting all the way. 

Story Premise #11: Under the Influence

Sheila, a home health care worker, raised her 2 kids with little help from her deadbeat ex-husband. She's put her heart and soul into helping Claire and Noah excel in all of their interests and endeavors.  Sheila's devastated when Claire drops out of her junior year of college to become an influencer.  Claire has moved back home and spends her days making insta-stories about her toothpaste and something called kombucha. She's not making any money, but she insists that she will turn a profit once she gets past 500 followers. Now her younger brother, Noah, wants to be an influencer too.  He refuses to sign up for the SAT and sits around all day making videos about pranks he's pulled on his friends and teachers at the high school.  Sheila's already been called in several times by the assistant principal to talk about Noah's poor choices.  

 

Sheila's devastated. Her kids were her whole world, and now they seem like strangers. With the help of one of her patients, Sheila begins Elder Excellence, a youtube channel devoted to awesome aging.  Her channel takes off.  Does her new found fame re-connect this family?  Maybe, but maybe not.

Story Premise #10: Work Party

 

We all got emails about the post work happy hour.  It didn't seem optional.  I showed up exactly on time.  In first, out first was my thinking.  The spread was better than our normal fare.  I grabbed two deviled eggs and a glass of Pinot Grigio and took a seat. We all waited for BossMan to show up.  Suddenly the room went dark.  The presenter screen blinked on.  Bossman's face filled the screen.  Behind him stood a man with a pistol aimed at Bossman's head.  

I have to hand it to Bossman.  He hardly seemed phased.  "Hey Everyone. Thanks for coming on such short notice.  Everything's AOK.  This gentleman here---"

"Shut your mouth," groused the gunman, rapping the side of the pistol against Bossman's skull.  You're not in charge here.  We're giving all of you 2 hours to come up with the name of the idiot who sold company secrets to our competitors.  I don't think I have to tell you what's going to happen to your boss if we don't get a name by 8 pm.  Enjoy the buffet." 

The lights went on and everyone looked around.  No one spoke.  Munching on our tapas in silence, we all seemed to be weighing our options. 

Story Premise #9 Food Truck Shenanigans

An old man gets his corona virus vaccine.  He thinks people will visit him now, but nobody does.  He heads out for a walk down the road one day, using his walker.  He sees a hobo kind of fellow jump off the back of a train. He calls out to him and they get to talking.  The old man invites the hobo to stay with him.  Together they begin a food truck business.  And both of them find girlfriends. This foursome finds their way to all sorts of antics. 

Story Premises 6, 7, 8: Diners, Creeks and Venom

Story Premise #6:  Dermot's Diner. 

Dermot Jr. takes over the diner when Dermot Sr. dies.  Aware of the importance of this place to the locals, Dermot Jr. knocks himself out trying to keep the diner 100% true to his dad's legacy. Try as he might, customers insist that Dermot Jr. has made changes.  Changes they can't abide.  One afternoon, as the train rolls slowly by on the nearby tracks, Dermot walks out of the diner and hops onto the caboose.  He becomes a hobo.  Dermot feels free and happy. For awhile.

 

Story Premise # 7:  Down the Creek

3 girls dig for pillbugs at recess.  They put the bugs on leaves and let them float down the creek.  The rolly-pollies finally have had enough.  They appeal to the treetop fairy who agrees that the girls need to knock it off.  She shrinks the girls and tells them that to return to recess they must bring back Salamander Squire's scepter.  The three find themselves on a sycamore leaf, floating down the creek in search of Salamander Squire.  When their teacher is fired for her catastrophic lack of supervision skills, she sets out to find the girls and to bring them home. 

 

Story Premise #8:  Venomous Venus

Venus, 5, has a wiggly tooth. When one of her moms finally wiggles it out, a snakelike fang is poking up in its place. Over time, more wiggly teeth are replaced by frightening fangs. Classmate Connor Figgle taunts Venus with hissing noises whenever the teacher's not around.  Frustrated, Venus bites Connor on the arm, rendering him paralyzed for a good 30 minutes.  Her moms decide to homeschool Venus. As she gets older, Venus researches her strange dentistry by reaching out to Helena Brummel, internationally known herpetologist. With Helena's help, Venus accepts that she's no ordinary Hoosier. She develops an alter ego called Venoma and fights evil whenever she can.  

Story Premise #5: Jean's Demons

 

Jean is a workaholic.  Her husband takes care of the household for the most part, in addition to working at his own challenging job.  When Jean's husband has an accident and has to have a hip replacement surgery,  Jean's life goes to hell in a hand basket.  Now making lunches for herself and her husband, picking up groceries, and tending to laundry, she is forced to let elements of her job falter.  She starts dialing it in and slacking off.  The slacking isn't noticed at her job.  No one seems to care in the least.  Jean is filled with anger toward her husband.  If he hadn't done all this stuff for her over the years, maybe she would have spent less of her life obsessed with her job and maybe she could have pursued more leisure activities. She could have developed a musical talent or hosted a literary salon.  As her husband slowly recovers, Jean descends into a crippling struggle with her own demons.

Story Premise #4: Saving Christmas

A boy desperately wants a dog.  He has two cats, but he wants a dog as well.  His loving parents are excited to surprise him with a new dog on Christmas morning.  Excitement and glee are fleeting as the dog kills both their cats right out of the gate.  The parents bring the dog back to the shelter.  The kid  needs intensive therapy and medication for anxiety for the next several years.  The trauma of this Christmas Day leaks into all future Christmas Days.  After the kid grows up, he leaves home and makes his way to Alaska, where he trains with a team of huskies for the Iditarod race, mushing the pain from his heart. After years of isolation, the young man returns home on Christmas Day to celebrate once again with his family.  Everything's fine after that. 

Story Premise #3 --- Soul Stealership

Whenever people in Wichita bring in their Kia Soul to be repaired  at Ken's Kia Dealership, the mechanic does something that messes with the owner's actual soul.

The car is repaired, but the car owner feels out of sorts and some even drive away deeply despondent.

There's a string of suicides in Wichita since Ken's opened up.  

Can anyone get through to the mechanic at Ken's?  Can he be convinced to mend the collective humanity of his customers?  Or will more souls be traded for Souls? 

#1 Son is here and he helped with this story.  "This actually happened to me," he reports. 

Story Premise # 2 --- This Pen

A girl finds an old weird looking pen at her grandmother's house. She asks her grandmother if she can have it. The grandmother tells the girl, "There's something about this pen, but I can't for the life of me remember what it is. Go ahead and take it. But once the ink runs out, there's no way to replace it." 

 So the girl writes a story about riding a dolphin to safety after a ship wreck, and the next day she hears on CNN that some dolphins rescued a family of people whose boat sank, bringing them to a nearby cruise ship. She thinks that's a weird coincidence. 

That night she writes another story. Next day she hears kids at school talking about something that happened in her town that's very much like the story she wrote. 

She starts putting 2 and 2 together. She gets more intentional about what she writes with the pen, making her stories more oriented toward social justice. Problems in the world begin to be resolved in wonderful ways. 

The girl and her pen are making changes, but she knows the ink won't last forever. Come to find out, her greedy principal has found out about the pen and hatches a plot to swipe it.

First Story Premise: Squashing Squirrel Land

 There's a challenge going on.  A story premise shared each day in January.  Not the whole story, just the premise.  Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezey.  KC's behind all this fun-ness.  Join us if you care or dare. 

There's a woman who lives alone.  In her yard, there are so many squirrels because she puts out nuts for the squirrels three times a day.  They hop right in to her lap to munch.  She knits little sweaters for them and they allow her to dress them up.  Curious people come by to take photos of the sweatered squirrels.  A new neighbor arrives on the scene and he isn't happy about the "craziness" next door.  He begins walking around the neighborhood with a petition to SQUASH SQUIRREL LAND.  He's going to bring it to the city council at next month's meeting.  

Update on January 3:  Serendipity.  Today there's a NYT piece about people interacting with squirrels in fun ways during the pandemics.  And chipmunks.  Here's the link.

Foto Credit:  Angela Hansberger
https://www.instagram.com/englishanj/?hl=en

The Habits

I'm thinking about buying this book called Tiny Habits.  It's about reducing your goals to the point where they are so tiny they are basically insignificant. After you do your tiny habit, you celebrate in some special way.

One of the habits I desire is to stop rubbing my eyes when they itch.  Now, when my eyes itch, my plan is to put eye drops into them, rather than rubbing them.  

I was successful with this tiny habit twice today.  

For my celebration, I sang the chorus of Baby You Can Drive My Car to myself.