Gratitude #1: Sankalpa Search

Spent some time looking over 2019 with my blog and my notebook.  Some notes about the year:

I made a C25K goal and I did in fact run a 5K with my siblings, but sadly the slogging tapered off soon thereafter.  I made another goal to get something written, and I do have an article, written with pals, out there in SubmissionLand, hoping to be published in 2020. Cross your fingers for us, please.

 I blogged 145 times, up from the past 3 years, but nowhere near my 2005 record of 315 blog entries. Reading over my 2019 entries was a bit ho hum.  I wrote a few amusing entries, but not that many.  I wrote a lot about Thirdland, and I did enjoy reading about some of the projects we worked on in Room 200, but I want to do more creative writing next year.  Maybe I do.  Not sure, actually.

 We saw 61 movies, 31 of them on the big screen.  (Favorites:  Tell Me Who I Am, Give Me Liberty, Honeyland, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, The Raft, Echo in the Canyon, Yesterday). Definitely want to see more movies in 2020.

My sankalpa of 2019 was kind of a bust.  It had to do with thinking on each day as an adventure.  Really didn't work out since most days I recited my sankalpa in the morning and then followed it up with "Well, I guess."

So it's time for trying out a new Sankalpa for 2020.  I really liked my 2018 Sankalpa which was "I'm a magician lady."  That really brought a smile to my face every day. Do you remember that it came from the title of a painting?  So, I may need to rip something off from the world of the Creatives for 2020. I've a few in mind that I'll noodle around with this month here.  We'll all probably enjoy that quite a bit.

The gratitude challenge is a good idea for the beginning of the year.  Thanks, MM.  I've got a lot of stuff to be grateful for, so why not give those things a shout out here on alittleleeway and start the year with some jubilation?

Sankalpa Day 2

#1 Son gives me a heart attack in Timna National Park

Just returned home from a cheerful walk along the Mediterranean Sea.  Now I'm reading more about sankalpa at this cool website where the writer ties sankalpa into different chakras. My sankalpa of courage  has to do with some issues with the third chakra Manipura. I only skimmed the article, so take everything I say here with a grain of salt.  The website author offers a list of sankalpas for me.  I think my fave is "I am powerful, capable and strong."  Sounds good right!?

Let's not forget that part of sankalpa is not buying stuff for 24 days.  And getting rid of stuff for 24 days. Today I got rid of a bunch of old computer files.  I really don't have many possessions here, but my computer keeps telling me my security disk is full, so I've got my work cut out for me. Bingo Bet it all Beaver!

Guess what peeps???  I sent off the article today.  It's out there in the hands of others and I'm going to have to wait courageously for news about whether or not it's accepted.  In the meantime, I'm going to have to garner up some super strength to write to the book editor this week and ask her why she hasn't written back in 3 months. We probably all know that this is not going to end well, but I'm going to stay strong and work on sending out the book proposal to others.  And I'm also going to stay strong. No matter what.

We didn't see American Hustle last night so tonight we are heading out early.  

Sankalpa???

Remember at the beginning of 2013 when we learned about sankalpa?  I'm thinking about doing that challenge again.  I think it involves 24 posts.  It involves letting go of stuff.  It involves making a goal of sorts and saying it every day.  I honestly can't remember the details, but join me in this month of discovery if you feel like it. And if you're busy, no worries.  But make sure to read about my sankalpa as often as you can.  I'm thinking of working with COURAGE as my sankalpa this year.  Experimenting with courage, nerve, grit, resolve.  Let's see how it goes.

Happy New Year, Pallies! 2014 is going to be a lucky year. I know this because the digits in 2014 add up to 7 and I minored in Numerology at UC Berkeley.

Sankalpa Day 24

Napkin, Plate, Fork.  Tr:  Cake was excellent!

Landwoman brought us cake this afternoon.  This cake was something to behold. I decided to draw the empty plate next to me.  

Sankalpa challenge is coming to a close. I wish I had done more decluttering of computer files during these 24 days, but I'll keep working on that.  

Julia Cameron believes we should write affirmations and acknowledge that we already have the help we need. She has a model affirmation in her book which I will now borrow and personalize:

I'm creative and confident every day of my life.  Each day I'm shown which steps to take.  I'm supported fully and happily in my productive work.  I know exactly how to begin each day and what to do to begin correctly.  Through small exploratory actions, I decide the next right thoughts and actions to take to move my important work along to completion. 

I love the affirmative nature of the Sankalpa.  Basically, with sankalpa, you're thinking, It's in the bag!  I've got this. A nice way to start a new year.

Sankalpa Day 1

This is the honey badger. 

I took a little refresher course about sankalpa over here. I really like the whole concept. I want to be stronger and more courageous and with sankalpa, I start with the belief that I already AM strong and courageous.  So...easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Case in point.  I was strong twice today.  First, I was super strong when I had to write two extra little side bar articles to submit with the main article.  Even though I was annoyed with this requirement because if they don't accept my article, I spent time on sidebars for no reason, I wrote the sidebars without further ado.  Then I had the second case of courage.  At the end of another day of working on the paper but not finishing the paper I started getting flipped out about how long this has taken me to write and how I'm so slow at everything and how if it's not accepted I'm going to jump off a bridge, etc.  But then I just decided that I'm doing everything I can and I should stay in the present moment and why not go see American Hustle and eat some popcorn?  This is the kind of strong minded approach to life I want to cultivate in 2014.  So glad to hear from Nance and KC about their sankalpas today.  We're off to a good start.

Gratitude #2: The Search Continues.

I'm in a little coffee shop.  This place is usually so quiet and calm, but today there are many Chatty Cathies in here.  There are two young men having an earnest discussion at the next table.  First guy shared his great love for his girlfriend. When he gets his tax return this year, they will get married.  He can not imagine life without her.  The other guy shared that he is probably going to break up with his girlfriend soon because she was high when he introduced her to his parents recently.  That really bothered him.

As for me, I've played around with a few sankalpa today.  Haven't yet landed on the one yet.  I want the sankalpa to focus on the physical this year.  I want to remember to appreciate having a body that can move around and get stuff done.  I don't think I've appreciated this body of mine enough. I need to have an attitude of gratitude for this collection of cells that gets me through the day.  Before long, I'll be sitting around in a recliner all day, waiting for someone I barely know to help me into my wheelchair. My sankalpa might be, Thanks, Body or I might snazz it up a bit.

Sankalpa Day 8

Read about post project blues (PPB) today and figured out that's what I was experiencing yesterday.   An internet creative suggested overcoming PPB by doing one thing to move your project along each day. So I summoned up the old sankalpa, set the old timer, got started and actually made some headway. Not as much as I wanted, but that's neither here nor there.  Progress was made.

Changing the subject, we had some hairy scary moments today and I'll tell you why.  We have neither washer nor dryer here, but we drop off some clothes each week at a laundry place where the clothes are taken from us and return days later clean as a whistle. You'll be pleased to know that we're still washing  clothing in the kitchen sink each day, but we give ourselves a pass on items like denim jeans for obvious reasons.  Come to find out, our clothes went missing from the laundry place and we kept going over there, searching. The owner of the place has been out this week (visiting her family in Russia) and the worker left behind speaks no English and in fact speaks mostly Russian. We dropped in several times this week speaking our English and she would speak back in her Russian and then we'd leave without our laundry.  It was getting tense, what with Husbandman's trip to O!Canada! coming up tonight, so in dire desperation we called in LandWoman (LW) yesterday.   LW listened attentively and then told us not to worry.  Like WonderWoman of yore, presto, LW shows up tonight with our freakin' laundry!  Boom!  We just sat back in amazement.  Then LW gave us some cake.  In other words, all is swell that ends well.

The Sankalpa 5

FYI:  The book I'm reading to help me with my sankalpa (living a wide awake life) is Waking Up to What You Do:  A Zen Practice for Meeting Every Situation with Intelligence and Compassion.  It's by Diane Eshin Rizzetto.  I'm on page 11 and so far, so good.

I'm feeling cheerful about the beautiful snow day I'm experiencing right now.  I've been reading, writing and soon I'll go out for some Indian food with Husbandman.

There's just one little thing stuck in my darned craw this morning and I'll tell you what it is.  Jesse Eisenberg is in our town because he supports Middle Way House.  Nancer saw him at the Y this morning!  She said she almost took a picture for this very blog, but then she thought about respecting his privacy.  Now I'm all for respecting privacy, but I'm pretty sure that Jesse Eisenberg would have been THRILLED to appear on this blog.  So, Nancer, you need to look at it from Jesse's point of view next time.  I'm going out with both eyes wide open to look for Jesse today to give him another chance to be seen on this amazing blog, alittleleeway. He loves our town as much as I do, so I'm fairly confident he'll be eating Indian food for lunch. I'm bringing the camera.

Sankalpa Day 7

Anish Kapoor, Israel Museum

 I'm going to be honest, I didn't feel courageous today.  Rather I felt kind of like a huge dork with no ideas, a flat tax time waster, a veritable wastrel.  As time slipped by, I focused on past transgressions and yes, even did some self loathing.

With a Sankalpa, the self-loathing that comes from dwelling on past transgressions can begin to dissolve. In its place is an exercise in effort and surrender—create an intention and open yourself to the universe.

On the good side, I did take a slog and it was sunny and warm.  And I'm perking up now, heading to a movie.  Tomorrow's a new day.  I'm going to be open to the universe, if possible.

S20: The Frolicking

Missed out on some days of the Sankalpa challenge, mostly because I've been frolicking with some friends this week.  All good. This photo represents our dishwasher.  Husbandman claims that he is always superb at loading the dishwasher, but that on this particular day, the loading reached an unparalleled level of perfection.  He even sent me a picture of the dishwasher for me to blog about.  So here you have it.  GREAT JOB, HUSBANDMAN!
I have a different approach to dishwashing.  I like to run the dishwasher each evening, whether it is full or not.  GREAT JOB, ME, for consistency and commitment.

As for Sankalpa, I fell a little away from my intentions, but that's okay, according to a writer over at Elephant Journal:

Once I choose an intention, I keep the idea in the back of my mind through all of my everyday activities. When I reflect on my actions and habits (samskaras), I look at them through the lens of my intention and see if I’ve behaved in a way that is compatible with it. If not, I make a point to learn from the experience and to try to act with more awareness in the future.

Today I will try to act with more awareness.  After I write a few blogs and watch the IU game.

The Sankalpa 7

Come to find out, I'm not doing that great at living a wide awake life this week.  Lots of action is swirling around inside and outside of my head and frankly, I've been slipping up with flubs hither thither and yon.

Yesterday, some scientists showed up at my door while I was working with the Thirdlanders on identifying themes in fiction books.  When I saw their scientific faces, I felt an instant sinking of the spirit.  I was supposed to do about 5 things for these scientists so that they could start teaching some cool science to the Thirdlanders.  I basically neglected to do all the things and also neglected to tell them not to show up.  We worked it out, but after they left, I said to the Thirdlanders, "Wow.  That was so embarrassing.  I feel horrible that they came all the way to our school and I wasn't ready for them.  I really wasted their time."

Of course the Thirdlanders piped right up with encouragement, "It's okay, Dr. H."  and "Everyone makes mistakes."  and "You're not perfect.  Nobody is."   My embarrassment has waned because I really am under the gun with a million things right now, but I need to up my game in the attentiveness department.  Thus my sankalpa proves to be an appropriate life goal once again.

And here's another little Thirdlander story just for the basic fun of it.  We were talking about the International Space Station and writing about whether or not we would like to live there.  I would not because it costs 20 million dollars and also I have a fear of enclosed spaces  After I shared my fascinating opinion, a cheerful Thirdlander added, "I wouldn't want to go on the Space Station because I have a fear of death."

As usual, the Thirdlanders cut right to the meat of the matter.  I'm going back in today.  Eyes wide open.  To Do List in hand. I live a wide awake life.

#TwinTuesday

#TwinTuesday brings us a pleasantly unexpected pairing of cinnamon sticks and a decorative star.  If you want to see the twin to this photo, head over to KC's blog and see what she's drummed up.  A good teaching pal at work this week asked me why the artifacts in the photos are considered to be twins.  She didn't know that the twin part happens when you click on the links that lead you to WordSAVVY.  I love that people out in the world are checking out #TwinTuesday and mulling it all over.  As artists, we really couldn't ask for anything better than that.

I know I'm behind on the yearly Sankalpa challenge.  It's taken me a couple of weeks to figure out my sankalpa.  It is this:  I live a wide awake life.

Good one, right?

S8: The Fire

#1 Son and #1 Dog

First, some good words about Sankalpa:  Sankalpa teaches us that we are both being and becoming.  There is that part of us that doesn’t need anything and a part of us that comes into life with a purpose and that is always becoming. Rod Stryker, founder of ParaYoga says “It’s vital for happiness that you walk both paths simultaneously.  Direct your energy with intention, but be mindful that your nature is unchanged whether you achieve your goals or not. Live as contentedly as possible in between the goal and realizing the goal.”

These are good words for me since I had every intention of going into the work site but ended up building a rip roaring fire in the fireplace, drinking tea, and reading The Round House by Louise Erdrich.  So though I did not achieve my goals, my nature is unchanged.  Today I let go of my nervous pre-work jumpiness and decided to enjoy my day in a quiet house.  I was not productive, but I am a productive person.  So there you have it.  Tralala.

The Lion

Last night we saw a fabulous movie called LION.  It's about a kid in India who gets horribly lost and ends up being adopted by Nicole Kidman in Australia.  I found the story of Saroo Brierley fascinating.  Dev Patel does a great job in the lead role.  Well done, all involved!  If you feel like seeing LION, you should.

I'm still working on my sankalpa for 2017.  It could be something like, "I keep my desk clean," or I may use something like, "I take the next right action," or maybe "I fit some fun into every day." I've considered borrowing KC's old one, "I'm a creative risk taker," because working with the editorial team to publish this book is going to require some forceful fortitude.  I don't know why I get so anxious about this book o'mine.  I love it, and I also worry about it constantly.   There's just so much worrying that can happen each day.  That's why the next right action sankalpa might be best.  Worry diminishes when I kick it into gear and try to do some small thing to get my life in shape. But my desk really needs to be cleaned up on a regular basis.  So I'm not sure what I want to do.

Sankalpa Day 18

Picture Mary and the angel Gabriel having a chat here.
Church of the Annunciation

Husbandman's caption, "I was going to bring brownies, but...."

We went to the Mane Katz Museum today and learned about the Jewish School of Paris.  Jewish artists studied in Paris and then some of them went to live in Tel Aviv after WWII.  One of these artists said something like this.... We want to create our own Montparnasse here in Tel Aviv, not a Montparnasse of cafes, but a Montparnasse of creativity.  This is not an exact quote, but I've communicated the idea with confidence and I love the idea very much.  Creativity is part of my sankalpa, so I feel I would have fit right in with this group of cool artists.  They would have truly enjoyed having me around and I'm sure I would have learned a lot from them.  After Mane Katz we went to the beach at Habonim. On the way I read about Chaim Soutine to Husbandman.  When I first told Husbandman I was going to read to him about Chaim Soutine, he muttered, "Damn it," but then he seemed to listen attentively to the information I shared. Another beautiful sunny day in Israel.  I took some creative pictures and though we could not find the Blue Cave we were looking for because our map was only in Hebrew, our time there was naim meod.  (Very Pleasant).  We loved every second.

S14: The Balance

My new friend Emily read my book a few years ago.

Okay, Friday night.  Just had a grand old time at Truffles with good pal KVS.  We missed Ms. Lewis who had sinus surgery today.  KVS (Judith's sister) and I talked about school and kids and people who insist on wearing perfume even though it gives us a headache and we basically solved all the problems of the world.  Today was weirdly warm. So pleasant.  I'm in week 6 of the C25K.  Legs?  Hurting.

Guess who we saw at the restaurant:  The Creator of the Sankalpa Challenge!!!  Love our one woman.  And she's helping change my life with sankalpa.  THANKS, OWA! What did I let go today?  The idea that I don't have enough time.  I have plenty, btw.

S18: The Pep

I woke up on the grouchy side, but I've perked up considerably as the day's gone on. My spirit lifted when I came across our assistant principal talking with a young miscreant.  THE AP read from a referral paper, "Your teacher says you are not doing your work.  Is this true?"
     Miscreant: No.
     AP:  It's not true?  Is your teacher lying?
    Miscreant:  Yes.
     AP:  Oh really?  Well it says here that you went over and took a juice box without permission and you started drinking it when you were supposed to be working.  Is that true?
    M:  No.
    AP:  No?  Your teacher's lying about the juice box?
    M:  Yes.  She's lying.

 I couldn't stay to find out if AP was able to break Miscreant down but what a charming hilarious scene.  Miscreant was sticking to her guns. And her stoicism filled me with glee. I repeated my sankalpa several times today before I got cheered up by Miscreant.  Like Miscreant, I was getting pretty rigid in my thinking on a few topics of late. So that's pretty good that I recited my sankalpa and overcame my rigidity and acted fairly maturely for the rest of the afternoon.

Sankalpa Day 9

Husbandman headed off to Toronto last night.  I drove him to the train station at one in the morning.  As in 1:00 a.m. Today my groggy demeanor got me to thinking.  You know how human beings tend to run around thinking that they have to make every second count and time is so precious etc.?  What if they pretended instead that they were immortal and time didn't matter because there was just so much of it?  Reverse the whole supply and demand train of thought so to speak.  Imagining my immortality, I declared today to be International Plenty of Time to Waste Day. I read some books and now I'm watching Project Runway Season 12, a series I currently own having purchased it with my own money. It took a lot of courage to blow off my obligations and fritter today away. My sankalpa seems to be working.

The Sankalpa 3

It's grey and cold here in Btown today so we took ourselves off to a little field trip to the History Center. I'm planning a lesson on Btown in 1900 so I took some photos of the limestone quarry model, the Shower Brothers Furniture Factory cabinets, the Railroad routes across our Hoosier state and of course the Gentry Brothers Circus display.  Come to find out the Gentry Brothers Circus featured dogs doing sundry tricks as well as other poor creatures. The winter headquarters for this circus was right here in our town.

Then we had soup at a soup shop.  Now we're at a coffee shop and I'm reading about history, gathering information so to speak. I read about another circus that performed right in Dunn Meadow in 1907.   The reporter of the Bloomington Evening World reported that though there was rain, the circus show was a great time for young and old.  The article ended with a fine reminder about living the wide awake life, which ties in with my new Sankalpa for 2016:

After the procession had passed the greater part of the people went to the 
grounds or to some eating place. The crowd was orderly and up to noon the 
police had not had any trouble. The management reports that there were few 
if any of the usual crooks following the show, but this should not 
encourage carelessness about taking a large wad of bills about in one's 
clothes or leaving the back door unlocked.

The Sankalpa 6

The water in Flint, Michigan is toxic.  So many powerful people knew about it, but the state government kept claiming the water was healthy.  The NYT has a good piece about all the incompetence and lying in Flint and Rachel Maddow's been hitting the story pretty hard.

It's going to cost 3.4 billion dollars to fix the water pipes in Flint.  That's money well spent, imho.  Let's get it done.

I don't want to bring everything back to me, but this horrible story makes me wonder if my water is potable.  How do I know?

I don't want to be a skeptical person, but I also know that part of being wide awake is thinking about stuff and not taking things for granted, like my water quality.  Maybe everyone's lying to me all the time.  This is kind of the drawback of this sankalpa.  Being wide awake can be a bit overwhelming and worrisome.