The Story Chalk and Cheese

 

Hi Friends.... I wrote this story last month. Now I'm posting it here, so if you feel like it, go ahead and read it.  I'm open to new titles, so if you feel like suggesting one, go right ahead.  Other than the title, I'm just looking for complimentary feedback.  Thank you, Readers.

Chalk and Cheese

by Lee Heffernan

       The Emancipation Day hearing came and went with no serious hiccups. Stella had parental consent, so we didn't expect any major snags, despite her age. The judge did question her capacity for financial independence, but Mom, citing a labor statute about the rights of minors to work as independent contractors, explained that Stella worked as a landscape technician and had a healthy client list.  An overstatement, but the judge let it slide.  Stella basically did yard work for Mom and Dad and a few neighbors. After some paper signing and shuffling, the judge announced that Stella was officially free of our family.  We huddled up for a group hug and headed out of the courthouse with plenty of time to make our 6:30 dinner reservation. 

 

        When Mom and Dad brought Stella home from the hospital 14 years ago I wouldn't say I loved her instantly, but I certainly never imagined we'd be terminating our relationship in a court of law before she graduated from high school. Of course, by the time she entered kindergarten, there were clues that we'd end up here. Stella refused to add other stick figures to her family drawings. She told her teacher she only belonged with herself.  Everyone thought it was adorable. In second grade, she wrote a note to Mom and Dad and left it on their pillow.  ``Dear Mom and Dad.  I want to live in my own house."  Mom put it up on the refrigerator.  Third Grade on, she called them by their given names and referred to me as her roommate.  Mom and Dad, as usual, thought everything she did was fascinating. They never tried to talk her out of her feelings. "We respect your decisions," Mom said to us countless times.  Dad would add, "You know YOU better than anyone else does."  

 

    I never got the feeling that Stella disliked Mom, Dad, or me.  Her mood was usually upbeat, if somewhat reserved.  To her, "not belonging" felt normal.  Just the way it was.  I started getting it when she shared her sixth grade identity power point project, titled "What's a Family?" She gave dozens of examples from history of people who lacked emotional connection with their birth families. After her presentation, the school social worker offered to meet with Stella, but Stella declined. Mom and Dad backed her up. When freshman year came around and Stella talked about emancipating, I was onboard.  Following my parents' lead, I decided to celebrate Stella's independent spirit.  

 

     When the emancipation hearing went our way, I posted a two-part video on social media.  The first part showed Stella walking in to the courthouse with Mom and Dad. The second part showed her walking out alone, smiling ear to ear and  holding up her court documents, to the sound of  canned applause. The caption read, "No longer sisters... now we're best friends" and "Congrats, Stella, on your emancipation!" 

 

    Soon after that, Stella moved in to a trailer on the west side of town with her boyfriend Eddie, who had graduated years before. And soon after her move, Stella signed herself out of high school in order to expand her landscaping business.  Stella and Eddie came over from time to time.  Not often, but we always were happy to see them and they were happy to see us. The whole thing felt fine, but then my video went viral.  Mom started taking a lot of heat for being an "unnatural mother." No one criticized Dad, of course. People stood on our sidewalk, screaming, holding signs.   TV reporters and film crews buzzed around the yard like fireflies. Mom took it all in stride.  She even started a support group for other families who believed in full citizenship for kids, FC4K.  She wrote a newsletter and a blog, which eventually became a book, followed by a book tour.  We thought it would all die down, but Mom's advocacy for Stella turned into a new full time job.  

    Dad and I try to support her as best we can.  

The Snowy Day

 We used to have snow days but now we have e-Learning Days.  Today was our first E-Learning Day of the year. 

I was nervous last night because so much of our technology can and does go wrong.   This morning I hopped on TEAMS early to practice using the site before our 9am start time.  Three 3rdLanders were there already. One had been waiting since 8.  I told them to talk amongst themselves while I poured myself another cup of coffee.

The morning was busy.  I had 3 class meetings scheduled, with a list of online work scheduled for them to complete independently.  I emphasized that I was flexible about e-learning.   While I stopped short of saying, "Do not come to the class meetings," I strongly encouraged the kids to relax about meetings if they could not attend. No big deal at all, I told them. All showed up and several stayed with me during independent work time.  

The district wanted me to have "office hours" at the end of the day, so I scheduled another meeting from 2 to 3, reminding the kids, again, that office hours were completely optional.  3 showed up.  They didn't need help with their work, but they were bored, and wanted to talk.  

There was a sweetness to the e-learning day, but I miss the snow days of yore, where I stayed in jammies and watched reality tv shows like wife swap all day long.  In short, it's time to bring back the snow days.  

The Rabbit

 

FreezeFest2023 --- I carved this ice into a tulip tree.  (state tree)
Did not win, but I was pleased with my work. You can see my sculpture over at FreezeFest.

A teacher who works in our library celebrates Chinese New Year.  I had heard through the grapevine that she had Chinese New Year bookmarks to give away. First come first serve.  "Any more bookmarks or am I too late?" I asked her.

"I'm sorry.  Too late," she answered.  We got to talking about Year of the Rabbit and how she will celebrate this weekend.  As 3rdLand was lining up to leave, she asked, "What year are you?"  

    "I'm Year of the Rat," I announced with pride.  I've always agreed with the rat identity: "quick-witted, resourceful and smart, but lack(ing) courage." 

She stared into my eyes and then repeated slowly, in what I considered an ominous tone, "Year... of... the Rat."

Well, come to find out, internet research has revealed that Year of the Rabbit is going to be a "bad year" for the rat people. Turns out, we have some kind of "oppositional relationship" to the rabbit.  

We will "encounter many difficult troubles." We'll also experience annoyances at work, which could include isolation and "being talked about behind our backs." Bankruptcy was mentioned a few times.

So that's awesome. 

Freaking Gung hay fat choy, People. Here I go on my "downward trend." 

The Tar and the Tarot

 We drove to Indianapolis yesterday.  Shopped around.  Saw TAR with Cate Blanchette. Quite good.  Drove over to Eagle Creek Park and watched the sunset over the wetlands.  Today we had one goal, which was to somehow procure pie.  Husbandman got the job done and brought home a couple of slices of delicious banana cream.  This afternoon, we read books, ate pie, drank tea. In short, a fine weekend.  

Today I drew the CHARIOT card from my tarot deck. The card was upside down, or in tarot terms, reversed.  When this card is reversed, it's hinting that I might be stuck, or stagnant, and I'm not going to lie, 3rdLand has been kind of a tough gig of late. Of course, having covid and four subs didn't help matters. To get my chariot moving, I'm bringing out my old tried and true plan this week, to do my best and forget the rest. 

 I take the tarot seriously (as of 2 weeks ago) and I'm reading a fine book that's guiding me on my intuitive tarot journey. By 2024, I'll be able to give you a tarot reading if you feel like having one.  

ps.  I was quite moved by Brendan Frasier's acceptance speech at the Critics Choice Awards.  If we're feeling we're in a dark sea, Brendan encouraged us to just get to our feet and start moving toward the light.  If we do, good things will happen.  Big thanks to Brendan, charioteer extraordinaire.  He was very kind to think of others when he was receiving an important award for his work.  

The Ranting

I'm raging and ranting today.

Here's the gist of the matter: Like most districts across this great land, we have an online platform called CANVAS where kids can submit work.  Every day this week, I've created assignments on CANVAS that kids can do independently, but are connected to our curriculum.  Time consuming stuff.

For some reason, few kids are submitting any work on CANVAS.  Today ZERO kids have submitted work, even though I've written to administrators and colleagues asking them to make sure the sub understands my lesson plans.  They've happily agreed to do so.  Still, no CANVAS work whenever I check every 20 minutes. 

So I'm not sure what exactly is happening in 3rdLand, but I do know my sub plans are not part of these happenings.  

I take sub plans super seriously.  I used to sub as you may remember.  Long time ago.  I spend a lot of time making lesson plans that are clear, maintain classroom routine, and engage 3rdLanders in meaningful activities.  Sub plans take a long time to complete.  I'm proud of how subs over the years have written to thank me for thorough lesson plans. But this year, the sub situation has gotten dire.

In December, when I visited my dad, a sub came to 3rdLand with her own bag of Xmas activities for the kids to do, ignoring my sub plans. She also brought her rock collection so that she could sit with small groups of kids to teach them about rocks. What the heck? Before that, I had a sub who brought a bag of toys and games to reward the kids.  He completed about a third of the sub plans.  Not great, but the worst part was the way the kids were at each other's throats when I returned, complaining about unfair treat distribution. There's no reason for treat rewards in 3rdLand.  We're not dogs. This week, we've had 3 different subs.  One has been described as a "doozy."  Not good, People. 

So that's what I'm ranting about this morning.   I'm also peeved because I'm taking the 2 hour suicide prevention webinar required by the district.  This webinar does not need to be 2 hours long.  

 

The Covid

 

First of all, there was a trip to New Orleans where we listened to the best jazz music, explored the WWII Museum, walked in the bayou, searched for the Tree of Life, ate so many fabulous meals and talked our heads off.  

Next, there was a long drive home and then a sore throat and then the decision to test and then the shock and awe when the test came up positive.  More shock when told I have to stay home for a week and even more shock when I started feeling some fairly uncomfortable symptoms, the worst probably being severe muscle aches that almost brought me to tears a few times. Covid has taken me down, my friends.  Covid has taken me down.

Finally, there is a determination to get well and get moving on this year's resolutions which include:  being able to touch my toes, playing a song or two on the ukulele, evolving as a ne'er do well Buddhist, and blogging with more consistency.  These resolutions will be dealt with in due time.  Right now I'm all about the blowing of the nose and the watching of the house speaker drama on television.  That's it. 

Happy New Year, Good People!