The Dwindle
Dwindle means "to diminish gradually in size, amount or strength." It's a pretty good word, as words go.
The school year is dwindling. 9 weeks left. Spring break is dwindling. 1 day left. The time to complete my report cards is dwindling. 3 days left. My energy is dwindling as the day chugs along. 6 hours left.
My sadness about Jayma's death isn't dwindling, but it will and I'm honestly not too happy about that. Last night I was watching Broadchurch which is quite good and you should watch it if you feel like it. One character's child was murdered and someone was telling her that her pain would dwindle with time. She shot back, "I don't want my anger to go away. It's all I've got right now."
I thought, "Amen, Sister."
I'm depressed, but there are good things too. Caring friends and family and lots of loving kindness milling about and two chipmunks beating each other up in the backyard. And the memory of Jayma coming across the hall, into my classroom, to tell me about the day's funny shenanigans. Those things aren't dwindling.
Comments
. . . as if banishing love is a fix. as if the stars go out when we shut our sleepy eyes."
Keep those Jayma memories sailing forth.
xo
cb